We live in a traditionally monosexual culture, meaning it is generally assumed that you can only be attracted to one sex, gender identity or gender expression. However, you may experience attraction towards others as more fluid or expansive than you have language for. Even within the queer community, you may have felt like your full self is not welcomed, your attraction to more than one gender was fetishized or stigmatized as “just a phase,” or have been labeled as untrustworthy or indecisive. If you are struggling to define your sexuality, maybe the box you’re trying to fit into is simply too small for you.
There are a lot of labels when it comes to defining your sexuality that can be difficult to navigate on your own, especially when you don’t fit into more widely accepted identities like gay or lesbian. If you are beginning to explore a polysexual label for yourself, these are some questions you may be wrestling with:
- How do I figure out who or what I’m attracted to?
- Is my identity so tied up in my sexuality that it feels like changing it would fundamentally change who I am?
- How do I process internalized shame or fear around broadening my sexual identity?
- How can I maintain my identity no matter how my partner identifies?
- How do I navigate being sexually attracted to one gender and romantically attracted to another?
- Where do I belong in the queer community?
Even if you’ve decided to seek therapy for some of these concerns, you might also be wondering if your therapist can help you with them. The mental health field has not been traditionally kind or welcoming to marginalized identities, and you could be feeling wary about returning to a space that previously harmed you.
- Will I feel safe and be able to trust my therapist?
- Will my therapist understand and affirm my identity?
- Will my therapist focus on the problems that matter most to me, without blaming my sexuality?
- How can my therapist support me in this exploration?
- Can my therapist help me accept my sexuality?
We know finding the right therapist is the most important part of committing to therapy. Many of our therapists come from these lived experiences, and all have received training in affirmative psychotherapy. We are here to take a consult call with you, book a first session for individual or group work, and continue to build a relationship together that will begin to find some answers to these really big questions. In time, we can work together toward goals like:
- Beginning to speak more openly about your sexuality with people and in spaces you can trust
- Finding the words to describe the nuanced and complex parts of yourself that may not have been safe to share in the past
- Understanding how your early experiences impacted your coming out and internalized biases.
- Embracing your sexuality and yourself more fully and truthfully
- Playing with the fluidity of sexuality within a safe container
And whatever else comes up in the room! We look forward to connecting with you on your journey.
Join Our Bisexual and Pansexual Women’s Therapy Group
Facilitated by Leigh Huggins, MA, AMFT; Supervised by Cadyn Cathers, PsyD, MBA
Wednesday nights 7:00 – 8:30 PM PST
Fee: $50 per session
In-person in Old Town Pasadena
Minimum 3 month commitment
Beginning in 2025
